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OUR MOST RECENT POSTS
- Judi Hollis on HLN’s Jane Velez-Mitchell’s show
- A walk in the park
- High Class Problems
- Help for Soldiers Dealing with Depression and Other Issues
- “What you feed grows and what you starve dies.”
- Tom Catton has a new blog up on Drugfree.org
- Letting Go and Non-Attachment
- Depression Carries a Stigma We Must Break
- To Thine Own Self Be True
- Dancing in the Dark authors on the radio
- Gwynenth Paltrow
- Deeper Roots: A look at the work of Alice Miller
- Letter to Stephen King
- Introducing Kyczy Hawk, author of YOGA and THE TWELVE STEP PATH
- New View of Depression: An Ailment of the Entire Body
CATEGORIES WE & OUR AUTHORS BLOG ABOUT:
Judi Hollis on HLN’s Jane Velez-Mitchell’s show
Posted in Addiction & Recovery, Pain Recovery
Tagged emotional eating, From Bagels to Buddha, Judi Hollis
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A walk in the park
The Rotman Research Institute in Toronto reports that patients suffering from depression showed measurable improvement in memory performance following a walk in a park, as compared with a walk in an urban area. The theory is that natural settings create space for entering a state of reflection, without the disturbances and distractions that tax the working memory, as one would encounter in an urban spot. Because difficulties with memory are a hallmark of depression, this finding can be an important tool in the fight for wellness. In my own situation, I know my husband’s depression is most certainly affected by his surroundings. When he spends time out of doors in one of the area camps where he volunteers, he returns with a positive attitude and refreshed mind.
In our work with families and loved ones of depressed persons, we have always advised intentional interaction with nature. It’s been our own experience that an encounter with the peace and beauty of the natural world can create a sense of calm and well-being that caregivers desperately need.
So, now that we’re in full spring, what are we waiting for? We can all benefit from some interaction with trees, grass, birds, and breeze. It’s time for a walk in the park!
This post was made by Bernadette Stankard, Co-author of Dancing in the Dark.
High Class Problems
I don’t do Windows. I even have a T-shirt that says that; one with Tux the penguin on it—and it has nothing to do with cleaning glass. I have run Linux on my computer for about ten years. My experience has shown me that Linux is a much better Operating System; it’s more reliable and less prone to virus attacks so I feel more secure running it.
Thing is, I have about 30 old—and I do mean old—Windows based games that I haven’t played in a very long time. I’ve been told I could play them in Linux—there are ways to do it—but I’m no computer genius. And this computer (what I call my “production box” because it’s where I produce my writing), isn’t used for those kinds of things. This computer is for writing and other daily computing tasks. I have another computer that I use to record TV (kind of like a home made Tivo) but it’s dedicated to recording and playing TV shows even though it can do much more (it is, after all, a computer). I run Linux on that too.
I was recently looking through my old computer stuff and managed to put together a pretty decent machine. I installed my old version of XP on this “old” computer, hooked up a wireless keyboard and mouse, bought an extension cable for my joystick, and I now have a Windows gaming machine hooked to my 40 inch TV in the living room. Kind of like a PlayStation only for computer games.
Being springtime, there is a lot to do out in the yard, so I like to get out and mow, edge the sidewalk, plant this year’s flowers, trim the hedges . . . well, you know . . . the list goes on. So between writing, reading, working in the yard and playing my newly accessible “old” computer games, there isn’t much time to watch TV. But since I record what I want to watch, I’ll get to it if it’s something I really want to see . . . eventually. High class problems. Ya gotta love ‘em. After all, staying busy with things I enjoy doing helps me stay out of trouble.
This post was made by Mark Edick, Author of Becoming Normal and FEAR.
Help for Soldiers Dealing with Depression and Other Issues
The Center for Veterans Issues is an organization that is to be commended. Not only do they help returning veterans with finding housing, dealing with post traumatic stress, financial situations, or drug abuse, they are all about treating the entire person and for returning veterans, that often means their families as they struggle to re-connect. The center has a host of programs operating. They touch on family issues, addiction, relocating, education and more. They do not receive funding from the Department of Veterans Affairs in Washington D.C. and instead survive on donations, grants and the generosity of people.
Based in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, the Center for Veterans Issues supports the concerns of all veterans by providing information and resources. They also provide transitional housing to homeless veterans, while offering many services to help veterans transition back into the community.
It is indeed refreshing to know that organizations like the Center for Veterans Issues look to helping the veteran and the whole family situation. Too often we have seen in the news, stories about returning veterans depressed and taking their own lives. Organizations like CVI can help those soldiers hurting from depression by offering counseling to the soldier and the soldier’s family. This is what we have said so many times – depression cannot be dealt with alone. It is a disease that affects the entire family structure. And we know that the trauma of war certainly has a effect on the entire veteran’s family. So hooray to Milwaukee’s Center of Veterans Issues for recognizing the importance of the fact that we all are a part of the recovery and transition to daily life of our returning soldiers.
For more information on the Center go to http://www.cvivet.org/newsroom/
This post was made by Bernadette Stankard, Co-author of Dancing in the Dark.
Posted in Blog, Depression, Relationships
Tagged : Soldiers, depression, families, suicide, veterans
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“What you feed grows and what you starve dies.”
“What you feed grows and what you starve dies.” I was thinking about samskara (habits of the mind) today. Recalling gratitude throughout the day is such a powerful tool in developing healthy habits of the mind. I will feed my gratitude today and feelings of lack, loss and scarcity will diminish.
Generosity is a two part event. The giving and the receiving. Giving anonymously is good to exercise the former. In order to complete the cycle, however, there must be some exercising in the ability to receive; to receive with grace, with enthusiasm, with authenticity. Gratitude is a way to practice this. It completes the cycle of giving. The universe, the divine, your higher power, has given to you with open arms – no thought of reciprocity except to take, use and enjoy the gift. That’s it. So gratitude is the way to say thank you. Gratitude and engagement. Engage in the gift. The gift keeps on giving: as you practice gratitude you also create positive emotions in yourself.
The brain and nervous system relax and receive. You build habits of positive thought. While you are building positive thought you are avoiding negative thinking. This negative thinking; these habits of the mind referred to as samskara in yoga, harm us and harm our world. So the gift of receiving the grace of our higher power, being grateful, creates positive habits of the mind, which in return allows us to live in positive energy which is….a gift to the world. In receiving we are giving. Kind of a sweet connection to make. And by “feeding” the positive we encourage it to grow; at the same time “starving” the negative. So don’t delay – start your gratitude list today.
This post was made by Kyzcy Hawk, Author of Yoga and the Twelve-Step Path.
Posted in Blog, Mindfulness, Personal Development
Tagged mind, positive thoughts, relax, thinking
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Tom Catton has a new blog up on Drugfree.org
Acceptance, Addiction, Finding Treatment, Hope, Recovery, Self-Reflection, Taking Care Of Yourself, Treatment: 12-Step Programs: Working Toward Freedom from Addiction
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012
Our libraries and book stores are filled with books on addiction and treatment centers have materialized in cities across the globe; addiction has touched the lives of most people.
Therapists’ phones are ringing off the hook because addiction is causing incredible pain in many families across the nation. Books, treatment centers and doctors all have a role to play in the process of recovery. The disheartening truth is that all the education in the world will not eliminate the obsession of the user. Self knowledge alone will not keep us clean nor will it help the family member to find solace in their quest for healing.
However, most these avenues of treatment will introduce the client to the 12-Step programs. In my first blog I talked about the programs of Alanon and Naranon. These programs are essential for family members and friends of the addict. I want to emphasize to parents the importance of embracing the 12-Steps into your own lives.
Intervention and rehab centers are important components in the treatment of addiction and can be important stepping stones in the pursuit of finding freedom from addiction, but they do not equal recovery. They are external support systems; the steps will be the channel to internalize this important information. There is a saying in the 12-Step arena that the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without parallel.
Today, there are hundreds of 12-Step programs based on the original 12-Step concept launched by Alcoholics Anonymous in 1935. The steps are basically the same for each of these programs, except for the first step, which begins with, “We are powerless over….”
You can fill in the blank with “drugs,” “alcohol,” “food,” “gambling,” etc. I use the word “addiction” when referring to this step, because it encompasses all unhealthy obsessions.
The experience of working and living the steps can be as varied as those seeking recovery, and belief in a theistic god or God Itself is not a requirement. Spiritual principles work for the agnostic as well as atheist. The process simply asks us to believe in something, some Higher Power that we will be willing to let guide us on this journey of healing.
Sponsorship is highly suggested in all 12-Step programs. When asking someone to be your sponsor, you look for someone who reflects in life what you are seeking. This person will guide you through the step process—someone you can call in a time of confusion, someone who you trust spiritually.
Each of the steps contains certain spiritual principles. Some 12-Step literature emphasizes the HOW of the program. This acronym refers to three basic principles: Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness. There is a deliberate order and harmony in the way that each principle is placed, practiced, and ultimately lived within the 12-Step process. As we work these steps, our lives begin to change. We are transformed by these principles from the “inside out,” and as our spirits heal and grow our material lives are positively changed.
The serenity that is spoken of so highly in 12-Step fellowships flows outward, attracting others who seek it out. We write out each step, identifying what the step means to us and how it applies to our lives today. This process is like when a Zen master gives his student a Koan to figure out, and solve in their life. The most famous example of these playful, mystical riddles would surely be, “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” The student then meditates on this phrase (or step) to come up with what this means personally and spiritually in their present life.
Since our spiritual journey involves constant change, we continue to grow by working the steps over and over again, each time on a different issue and at a deeper level. The journey of the steps mirrors our lives, and their meanings change with us over time. The principles that occur as we work and live the steps are quite simply directions. Like points on a compass, they tell us where to go, directing our lives into a place of wholeness and fulfillment. I believe this profound personality change has to be ongoing. To assure our transformation continues, I suggest to the people I sponsor to keep their practice of the steps ongoing. The steps save our lives, and then they change our lives. We, in turn, show the next person how we did it. Ideally, this process of spiritual growth never ends.
When addiction enters our lives, either through our own use or that of a family member, it can cause enormous confusion and pain and turn life as we know it upside down. The spiritual path of the 12-Steps is not always easy, but the willingness to practice the steps will begin to soften our attitude toward addiction. Compassion and understanding will begin to fill the void that anger and resentment used to occupy.
As we begin to witness our lives and those around us change, we come to see that our greatest challenges are often the introduction to a deeper compassion, engendering our view of life with a new sense of vision.
This post was made by Tom Catton, Author of The Mindful Addict – A Memoir of the Awakening of the Spirit.
Letting Go and Non-Attachment
Whether it is my relationship with my family, my friends, my job or my future; letting go is hard. Letting go is a major tenet in my program of recovery and I think I know why. Holding on is as painful as it is useless. The idea that I can control others and outcomes, like the idea I can control my substance use, “must be smashed”. Somehow, I find myself time and again investing myself in the idea that “it I did [this], then [that] would happen”. I can do my part but I need to let go of the rest; of the outcome, of others.
In Yoga we have a similar tenet. It is one of the yamas, or restraints. The Sanskrit term is aparigraha. It is often translated as non-possessiveness or non attachment. In traditional discussion this is applied to material “things” but it can also be applied to “people and places” . When we become less attached to “people, places and things”, even a static sense of self, our awareness expands and the pain of grasping decreases. We can view the world with a more generous perspective. This yama suggests that we start from an attitude of non-attachment, of being free. Aparigraha approaches the issue from a different perspective, with a similar outcome. Rather than letting go once I have become stuck, I approach life with an open hand – not grasping or holding to begin with.
Between my practice of yoga and my practice of the principles I have two ways of approaching the problem of grasping. I can avoid the attachment, and, if I have not been able to do this: I can let go.
Depression Carries a Stigma We Must Break
A couple of weeks ago Bernadette and I visited with a group of people who wanted to learn more about the effects depression can have on those who live with and care for a depressed person. These kind, caring folks had a genuine concern for helping families struggling through the difficult times of life, and had great questions about exactly what depression is, what it looks like, and what it does to people.
One question asked, though, continues to haunt me. One woman noted that 50 years ago, people had a closer connection to their faith through prayer and their churches; back then, she said, we didn’t hear constantly about depression, other mental disorders, and the need for therapists and medication. She postulated that if only people still had such a connection to faith, depression wouldn’t be so rampant in our society today.
I felt compelled to remind the group that though depression didn’t seem prevalent 50 years ago, the fact is that this debilitating illness was out there all the time – people just didn’t talk about such a supposedly shameful and embarrassing “weakness.” Then, too, I wanted to be clear that, as important as faith can be in recovery, a strong connection to faith and church is not a talisman against depression. The illness strikes where it will, due to brain chemical issues and other factors, even when we have a relationship with a higher power.
It’s misconceptions like these that make it difficult to overcome the lasting stigma surrounding depression. The implication is that we have the power to avoid or overcome the illness if only we are “strong” enough or “faithful” enough. Those of us who live with and care for depressed people can be the voice that refutes this kind of archaic thinking, for the good of all.
Amy
This post was made by Amy Viets, Co-author of Dancing in the Dark.
To Thine Own Self Be True
In the rooms of recovery we give out chips, or medallions, for milestones in recovery. On the traditional original medallions for one program we have mottos on the front and back. One side has the Serenity Prayer, the other side reads: “To Thine Own Self Be True.” Sounds good. Sounds straightforward and simple. Simple, however, does not mean easy. Who IS this self to whom I should remain true? Certainly when I started my path of recovery I did not know who I was. I hadn’t known for years. In fact, in my case, my disease obliterated any progress I was making in this quest, this search to figure that out. I was a chameleon – blending in with my surroundings and what I thought others wanted from me. I tried to fill their expectation (ironically, without asking for their input). I changed my outlook and opinion to suit the circumstances. Later, in defiance and defense, I diluted and fogged the journey for self discovery with substances and behaviors. True self was no where to be found.
Then I started my journey in recovery. Once the fog lifted, and I was able to earn some of these medallions on my own, I read and puzzled over this motto. I know it was true but I was perplexed. This imperative, to be true to one’s self, becomes more critical as the days pass in recovery. The steps helped in uncovering my true nature, revealing more and more about how I processed life, what was healthy and what was unhealthy in my views, my understanding and my responses. The rooms of recovery, friends and sponsors assisted in this as well. Even with these tools, I was still unmoored, not sure of who I was, uncertain about my direction.
Yoga, the practice and study, and the insights on the mat have increased my knowledge of my self, my true self. I have observed my reactions to my practice and learned from these. I have become more aware of my felt sense, my body cues and sensations, and have learned to trust these. My breath, the sensations in my chest and gut, those physical clues one can get from any situation, are to be trusted. They are tendrils from my self trying to guide me. I am learning to be true to these. The combination of the intellectual / emotion work with the steps and the physical, psychic, emotional and intellectual work of yoga are giving me a solid sense of who I am, of self, and I can practice this principle: “To Thine Own Self Be True.”
This post was made by Kyzcy Hawk, Author of Yoga and the Twelve-Step Path.
Posted in Addiction, Addiction & Recovery, Author News
Tagged addiction, Kyczy Hawk, Yoga, Yoga and recovery, Yoga and the Twelve Step Path
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Dancing in the Dark authors on the radio
Join nationally recognized multi-media talk show host and award winning producer Patricia Raskin, as she interviews Bernadette Stankard and Amy Viets, authors of DANCING IN THE DARK: How to Take Care of Yourself When Somoene You Love is Depressed. DANCING IN THE DARK is filled with practical suggestions, opportunities for reflection, and up-to-date resources for anyone whose life is affected by the depression of another. Bernadette and Amy offer compassionate wisdom and practical assistance based on their personal experiences, as well as years of study in the area of depression.
This post was made by Bernadette Stankard, Co-author of Dancing in the Dark.
Posted in Author News, Depression
Tagged caregivers, dancing in the dark, depression, living with depression
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