We all have some form of adversity. To what degree we have it depends on our attitude. I saw a quote the other day from David Brinkley. He said, “A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.”
Change is difficult. Most people (myself included) have some fear of change. The present, no matter how painful it may be, provides a level of comfort because we are familiar with it. Change, on the other hand, may ultimately be for the better, but our fear is that it will be worse. In addition, every change requires some grieving. We must feel the emotions of the loss in order to accept it.
We in recovery are not very comfortable with our emotions. That’s why we tried to numb ourselves. So when changes come, instead of going through the grieving process and getting to the acceptance and finding the blessing, we sometimes try to prevent the change.
Maybe a friend is offered a great new job in another state. Although we love our friend and want him or her to be happy, we may try to talk him or her out of accepting the job because we don’t want him or her to leave. We don’t want to have to go through our own grief of the loss of the friendship. Sometimes we might even get into a fight with them. Anger is a step in the grief process.
This anger can also be directed towards us, from others. When we are changing, people may get mad at us. They fear the change, but we feel like we are being attacked–like they are throwing bricks at us. Sometimes, instead of continuing to change, we may be tempted to run back to the familiar. We hit the wall of anger and instead of walking through it to the other side, we are tempted to run back, thwarting our own growth.
We don’t have to fear the bricks of life. If we do we can jeopardize our own progress. We succeed when we realize that the bricks are just the building blocks we need to grow.