I have been writing about relationships for several years now and have come to the understanding that all relationships stem from your relationship with God, or the Universe, or your higher power (or what ever you wish to call it). In other words, it’s your relationship with the world that dictates your personal relationships. If you live in faith, your relationships reflect faith, if you live in fear, your relationships reflect fear.
Ask yourself if your relationships are based on fear or faith? If it’s fear you tend to try to change people so you can be happy. That is a silly task since it’s almost impossible to change another person. The fact that we want to change them usually results in their resistance. And, to top it off we seldom are good judges at what’s going to make us happy. So if somehow we finally get to them to change, we quickly realize that that wasn’t the problem, and look for something else that needs to change to make us happy.
By deepening our spirituality our relationships magically improve. Relationships that no longer serve us simply slip away, making room for new and better ones, which help us to strengthen our trust and faith. Marianne Williamson, bestselling spiritual teacher says in her book A Return to Love, A relationship that is used by the Holy Spirit becomes a place where our blocks to love are not suppressed or denied, but rather brought into out conscious awareness. Then we can see our dysfunctions clearly, and when we’re ready, ask God to show us another way.
The other way is by even more spiritual growth. Every relationship is a relationship with our self. When we look for someone or something outside ourselves to make us happy, it seldom works for very long. But when we look inside and deepen our relationship with God, we find a true happiness that is then reflected in our relationships.