Sometimes, after we have been hurt in a relationship, we develop negative beliefs about those who have hurt us–if those who hurt us were male, we may believe all men are out to hurt us; it they were women, we may expect the same treatment from all women. Those negative beliefs both spring from and reinforce an unhealthy GPS (Guy –or Gal–picking system).
Although we may have had only one bad experience, we sometimes find comfort in sweeping generalities. If we have been cheated on, by a man, it is tempting to believe that all men cheat. We don’t want to be the only one ever hurt by a cheating boyfriend, so it is comforting to think that all men cheat, or all men lie. In other words, since all men cheat, we are not alone. (If a man who has been hurt by a woman is reading this, he’ll recognize that the same is true when the genders are reversed.)
The problem with this line of thinking is that this underlying belief can then become your reality. If “all men cheat” is your belief, you will naturally be attracted to men that cheat. It’s very difficult to go against your own belief system. It’s the basis behind the law of attraction; we attract what resonates in us most.
If you think good thoughts, you will attract good things. If you think bad thoughts you will attract bad things. Look toward what you want in your relationship. Focusing on positive, healthy characteristics will attract healthy partners, and is one of the components of developing a healthy guy (or gal) picking system.