After several years of lot of arguing, I decided to break the chain of being his “whipping-post,” so to speak. But, I do find myself hurting inside. How can I stop from hurting so much within my own skin?
First I want to commend you on making this big step. Making a change, even a healthy one can be very difficult. I am so happy that you taking care of yourself.
The reason why change is so difficult is that it can cause pain. Any loss must be grieved. That’s the bad news. The good news is that this feeling is temporary. It hurts, but once you get through it you will find a much greater happiness and peace of mind. Unfortunately the only way to the other side it to go through it.
There are things you can do to make the process easier. First, be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself as you would treat a dear friend who was going through a loss. Take yourself out and pamper yourself. Maybe treat yourself to a massage or pedicure. Take hot baths, drink tea and read a good book. Let yourself cry and realize that this will pass. And, don’t forget to reach out to your friends, often during these times we like to isolate.
One of the best ways to ward off feeling of being lonely or depressed is to help someone else. Give rides if you have a car, lend an ear to someone, anything to get you out of your own head. When you focus on someone else, it takes your mind of your own pain for a little while.
I am so happy that you have taken this step for yourself. There is a saying that gave me comfort during trying times in my life. The saying goes, if you want to discover new lands, you must be willing to lose sight of the shore. In other words, growth takes risk. If you want to find a world beyond your wildest dreams, you must be willing to break away from your uncomfortable comfort zone. You have done that, just keep going, you are almost there.