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To the casual observer, my three-year-old grandson Robert is in the kitchen beside the refrigerator. But I know better. Though he is standing in full view, he is hiding. His hands are covering his eyes and a little giggle is sneaking out of his mouth.  As I walk into the room, I call “Where is Robert? I can’t find him anywhere?” The giggle explodes into laughter and Robert triumphantly lifts his hands and says, “I’m here. It’s me!” We have a joyous hug and then he wiggles away, walks to the other side of the refrigerator, places his hands over his eyes and is once again” hidden.” Again I call out, “Where is Robert? I miss him. I hope I can find him soon.”
hidingAs I continue this marvelous game of hide and seek with Robert, I think of my mother and her last years. So many times I’d walk into her room in the memory care unit, see her slumped in her chair, eyes closed and I’d wonder, “Where is my mother? I miss her.”
I would sit down, take her hand, and call out, “Mom? Hi Mom, it’s me, your daughter.”
Those who are aficionadas of hide and go seek know the game is more thrilling when you’re not immediately found. When my brother and I were young, my mother let the tension build as we squirmed in our cramped hiding places, squashed into the bottom of the coat closet or curled underneath the dining room table. Back in those days my mother was in no hurry to find us and now she is in no hurry to be found.
“Mom?” I say. Finally, her eyes open and she smiles at me. Her grin is implish and slight, but it is enough.
“Hi Mom,” I say and for a few minutes, we hold hands and look at each other. Then she closes her eyes and once again, she is hiding in full view, waiting to be found.

Click here to buy the book!

Click here to buy the book!

Deborah is the author of Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey

Deborah is the author of Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
photo credit: Lili Vieira de Carvalho via