Dysfunctional addictive relationships: Are you hiding from intimacy in addiction recovery? (BOOK REVIEW)

Addiction Blog Published: March 18, 2016

Have you ever yearned for love, even made sacrifices for it, and still felt distant from your partner and/or deeply unsatisfied?

Once in recovery from addiction, some of us need to start from the beginning…and learn how to undo years and decades of dysfunction. What if there was a book that could help guide you?

If you want to advance your understanding about healthy relationships, drop your defenses and get honest with yourself, then a book called “Irrelationship: How we use Dysfunctional Relationships to Hide from Intimacy” is definitely for you! This new title can transform you .. from the inside-out. How?

Check out more right here. Then, ask your questions about the book or the key concepts in the comments from at the end. If you leave your question, we’ll try to respond to you personally and promptly.

What is “Irrelationship” about?

IRRELATIONSHIP is a book that breaks down common ways that we sabotage intimacy through patterned behavior. In this transformative guide, the authors identify the widespread dysfunctional dynamic they call “irrelationship”- a physical defence system two people create together to protect themselves from the fear and anxiety of really relating.

The authors of this book bring together a great deal of information from many ares of psychology and psychiatry, along with years of practical experience, to help readers understand:

How do you get into irrelationship?

How do such relationship affect your life

Most importantly, how is it possible to break free and create a real relationship?

This book is a model for living well, specifically with mutuality and compassionate empathy in all relationships- personal, professional and public.

What will you learn from this book?

This book has five sections that build on one another:

Part One: Introduces the basics anatomy of irrelationship and helps you build acceptance and patience with yourself as you explore the ways you undermine your chances at love and intimacy.

Part Two: Profiles the key players of irrelationship. It explores how anxiety drives you into routine and reveals the isolation and frustration of trying to maintain safety inside a dysfunctional system.

Part Three: Explores the core reasons irrelationship developed in the first place and discusses familiar pitfalls that result from staying stuck in the irrelationship pattern for long periods.

Part Four: Introduces the DREAM Sequence of recovery, outlining the five-step process of recognizing and escaping irrelationship.

Part Five: Offers guidance and support for staying on track in recovery.

These five chapters along with exercises called “Toward Positive Change” welcome you to the process of recovery by learning you how to live a life of fulfillment and true connection with others.

Why Do We Recommend This Book?

A big part of addiction recovery is inner growth. And that growth comes with time and awareness. However, most addicts really need to work on some core elements in life, including:

current relationship troubles
past family of origin issues
patterns of dysfunction
relationship addiction

We like this book because it traces the origins and development of patterns that start well before we even begin to use alcohol or drugs. Often, addiction is a way to deal with the disappointment or failure to connect with others. In this way, when we can explore our relationship patterns … we can really start to heal ourselves!

This book provides readers with techniques for finding their way out of unsatisfying connections with others. Relationship addiction can come after drug addiction. But it can also be avoided. And when we are a part of genuinely fulfilling relationships, our lives are that much better in addiction recovery!

The three experienced psychotherapists present a clear examination of recurring love relationship problems and how to solve them. You reader, are in good hands.

Wondering where you can find “Irrelationship – How We Use Dysfunctional Relationships to Hide from Intimacy”? Click here to order a copy today.

About the Authors: Mark B. Borg, Jr., Ph.D. is a community psychologist and psychoanalyst, founding partner of The Community Consulting Group, and a supervisor of psychotherapy at the William Alanson White Institute.

Grant H. Brenner, MD is a psychiatrist in private practice, specializing in treating mood and anxiety disorders and the complex problems which may arise in adulthood from developmental childhood trauma. He works from a humanistic and integrative perspective, recognizing that each person requires an comprehensive assessment and individualized treatment plan, and that often different types of treatment are sometimes necessary to explore before finding an approach which works.

Daniel Berry, RN, MHA has practiced as a Registered Nurse in New York City since 1987. Working in in-patient, home care and community settings, his work has taken him into some of the city’s most privileged households as well as some of its most underprivileged housing projects.