I have often said that a person cannot be a successful sex addict without being a world-class liar. This is not a character attack but simply an observation based on many years of working with sex addicts and partners.
Why do sex addicts lie? Lying often begins as a way of escaping an abusive parent, a demanding coach, or an exacting teacher. But carried into adulthood, lying may take on a life of its own.
Sex addicts lie to cover their acting out behavior. It is also true that sex addicts may lie about things that do not have anything to do with their addiction. They may lie about things that truly do not matter. Lying has become so ingrained that their default position is to lie in order to present themselves in a better light.
Recovery from any addiction includes having a renewed commitment to live in the truth, tell the truth, and accept nothing short of complete honesty from themselves. A colleague whose partner is an addict recently told me that to her, rigorous honesty is the Holy Grail of recovery.
I hope that if you are in recovery that telling and living in the truth has become a new way of living.
This blog post was written by Dr. Milton Magness, author of the book, Stop Sex Addiction — Real Hope, True Freedom, for Sex Addicts and Partners
